The greatest toy ever

I got lots of cool presents this Christmas, but there is nothing that can beat my favorite toy of all--my pink and blue shopping cart. It used to be my sister's (that's why it's pink), but now it's mine--all mine! I pretty much push it around the house constantly. It's a very versatile toy. These are just some of the ways it can be used:

1) I can load all of my toys into it, and then dump them all out in the most annoying places, as my mom likes to say. Such as the kitchen floor, or at the bottom of the stairs, or in the toilet.

2) I can wear it like a hat. (though sometimes my neck gets stuck through the bars, which could be se-wious, as the Wonder Pets say.)

3) I can swing it like a weapon (one of favorite things to do.) It can be an excellent weapon to use against my big brother when he is bothering me. But when I do this my dad gets really mad, and says that if I hit the flat screen TV, I'll never see the shopping cart again.

4) I can dump stuff into it that doesn't really belong there. Such as a bag of potato chips I grabbed from the pantry today. Mom got pretty upset with me. Then she put all the chips back in the bag (including the ones that fell on the floor) and told me to go watch TV. She's just no fun.

My FBI Training

I have a big secret to tell you. I've been in training...for the FBI. That's right - joinging the Bureau is one of my life goals. Dad told me that you have to be in good shape to be in the FBI, so I have been practicing my gymnastics moves. You can see me in action by clicking on my video below:

After my basic training is over, I'll be starting on my extra special spy training. Stay tuned for updates!

Don't try this at home

This is a picture of a kid on my street, "Chuckie Jones" (not his real name). His mom took this picture of him and is passing it around to other moms in the neighborhood. Whatever he is doing in this picture, it must be real bad, because none of us have seen Chuckie lately. I think he must have gotten grounded.



Anyway, Christmas was great and I have been so preoccupied with my all my new loot that I haven't had time to post lately. My favorite present was my Little Einstein's Pat-pat Rocket, followed by my 24-Pack of Play-Doh. Play-Doh rules! My mom even seems into it. She keeps opening the lids and closing her eyes to take long sniffs, whispering things like "mmm, this smells just like it did when I was a kid." She is so weird.

A few examples of why boys make their mothers crazy

Mom showed me a few pictures today and said I was NEVER to do any of these things, or she would lock me in my room forever. Whoa! Apparently she doesn't realize I have already done a few of these things...

Ginger Bread Houses, Oh My!

My mom decided the other day that it was finally time to have us kids make the ginger bread house from the kit that Grama gave us. For some reason Mom didn't seem happy at all when Grama first gave it to us, and I even caught her trying to hide it in the junk room in the basement. But my sister kept begging her to let us make it, so finally she agreed. She set everything out on the table--the pieces of ginger bread, the icing, and all the tiny little candy pieces. I couldn't wait to dig in!

Then, Mom actually tried to pull a fast one on me - she let my sister and brother sit up at the table and she tried to stick me on the floor to watch Barney. Ha! Did she really think I was going to sit and watch Barney while there was candy and sticky icing to play with? Honestly, Mom!

First, Mom built the house by gluing the walls together with icing. The directions said to wait in between each step so the icing could dry, but she said we didn't have time for that. Maybe that's why the walls kept collapsing. Finally, she got it to stay together by using something called Super Glue, and she mumbled a lot of bad words the whole time.

The best part was when she spread icing on the roof and we got to stick the little candies on. My brother and sister were trying to make fancy patterns with the candy, but I prefer to make more random designs. My brother kept trying to trick me by saying "Look! It's Santa Claus" and pointing in the other direction. I was pretty sure he was taking my pieces of candy off when I turned my head, but what was I going to do? I'm a toddler - if someone says Santa is in the other room, I'm gonna look! Anyway, after all that work, I think the ginger bread house came out pretty beautiful, don't you?

The Ice Storm and other happenings

We had a big ice storm last week. It seemed to make my Mom and Dad in a bad mood, but I loved it. The power went out and I got to play with the flashlights! My Dad just paced around the house mumbling about not having something called a generator, and my Mom got real nervous because we were almost out of diapers and the grocery store was closed down. But the power came back on the next day and it was all okay.

My brother and sister and I played some really fun games because we couldn't watch TV. Sometimes my big brother puts on his Darth Vader costume and I put on mine and we have light saber fights! We did this when the lights were out and the light sabers lit up the living room. The best part is when I put on my Power Rangers cape with the Darth Vader mask and I become Power Darth! Or maybe it's Darth Ranger. Either way, he's my favorite made-up character. Better watch out or I'll bring you over to the Dark Side with my powers!

I am so loved

It's great being the youngest. I get lots of attention, I get to watch the TV shows that I want to watch ("Turn off Hannah Montana so that your brother can watch Blue's Clues!"), and I always get to go first. I like to go first.

Sometimes it's hard being the youngest, of course. I have to wear hand-me-downs, and I don't always get to do all the fun stuff that they get to do. But I wouldn't trade it for anything.

By the way, I have to tell you about this neat trick that I figured out. It's called "having a tantrum." At least that what Mom calls it. If something is happening that I don't like, I start to scream and fuss. It's that easy!! Here is a picture of me doing it when Mom was trying to put my jacket on. It was a nice day, and I did not want that jacket on! So I had one of the tantrums, and it worked! She gave up!

The Case of the Flying Poop

I love the TV show Wonder Pets. If you haven't seen it, you should. It's all about the adventures of three pets (guinea pig, chick, and turtle) that live in a school classroom and heroically save animals in trouble after school's out. Mom says it has really good messages, whatever that means. One of my favorite books to read when I am on the potty is my Wonder Pets book:

My favorite part of the story is where the Wonder Pets try to save a baby chimp lost in outer space. But this morning I noticed something unusual about this page in the book. So I asked my mom--"What's that?" "A comet," she said. "Comet?" I asked. Hmm...I don't even know what the heck a comet is, but I knew that thing wasn't a comet. See for yourself:

Anybody who knows anything can see that it's a piece of flaming poop, flying through outer space! I told my Mom, but she just laughed and grabbed the book from me to show my dad. "He thinks it's poop!" she cried. For some reason, she was crying and laughing at the same time when she told him. What do you think? If you're still not sure, take a closer look:

That my, friends, is one hot, fiery piece of poop. I hope it's not aiming at the earth. That would be se-wious!

Full House - I could do that

My big sister is 10 years old, and she loves to watch that old sit-com, Full House. (My mom watches it with her--don't tell Dad, but I think she only watches it because she has a crush on John Stamos.) Anyway, I can't figure out what is behind the success of the show. It's not very funny. In fact, it's kind of corny. And that Michelle Tanner character - I don't think she is a realistic toddler at all. She says things that no respectable toddler would ever say (What kind of 2-year old walks around the house saying "Aw, nuts"??)

I don't want to be mean to poor little Michelle Tanner, but I think I could give her a run for her money. Who's the cuter 2-year old? Be honest.

Guess who?

When you've got an older brother and sister in the house, sometimes you've got to find a way to get around without being spotted. This is my sneakin' around the house outfit. I think it's pretty effective - who'd recognize me? Certainly not my siblings - they're a little slow on the uptake, if you know what I mean.

Tonight's been a little crazy around my house. I spent part of the evening playing my favorite game with my brother and sister - Baby Jail. I think my sister made this game up. It usually involves me as the main character (are you surprised?) They lock me up in a jail made of couch pillows - it's great! We had to cut it short to get ready for bed, but I am looking forward to more Baby Jail tomorrow...

Well, gotta run for my "bedtime snack." It's this new ritual my mom has come up with. She's under some strange delusion that if she gives me a bedtime snack I'll stop waking up at 3 a.m. asking to climb into her bed. It'll never work, but at least I get some cookies and milk before bed!

I might be the next Emeril

I must confess that I'm a bit of a foodie. You'd be surprised at how much you can pick up when your mom is zoning out in front of the Food Network. She thinks I'm playing on the floor with my trucks, but I'm really paying careful attention to Bobby Flay. That man can sure grill a burger! But since I'm not allowed to use the grill yet (or even the microwave), I need to stick to the basics. One of my specialities is Cheerios and milk a la One-sock. Mom gives me the bowl of cereal, and then I spill it out - milk and all - on my high chair tray and eat it from there. I guess you could say it's my spin on a traditional dish. You should give it a try--it doesn't taste quite like eating it from the bowl.

For some reason when I made my specialty this morning, Mom got really upset and mopped the whole thing up with a paper towel before I could finish it. She just doesn't recognize my talent for food!

Check out my exercise video!

Check out my new exercise video - push-ups, One-sock style! The trick to a really effective push-up is lots of head action. Watch the video and you'll see what I mean!

What do you mean they're too small?

I'm really into Mr. Potato Head these days. I got this cool set for my birthday last year with tons of potato head accessories, including these hot green glasses. Mom told me they're too small for my big head, but I beg to differ. I think it could be a new runway trend.

Muscles

I’ve acquired quite the work-out habit lately. My Dad is a serious weight-lifter, and he is my greatest inspiration. Sure, as a toddler I don’t have major muscle mass yet, but I’m working on it. This picture isn’t of me (this kid’s got slightly better definition, so I thought I’d substitute him) but you get the idea.

At any given moment, I am known for trying to pry my shirt off (I usually need some help with this) while crying out “Wanna show muscles like Daddy!” Then I walk around shirtless showing off my stuff. I have also learned to do push-ups. Soon all the girls in my daycare will be after me, I just know it. They don’t call me the Baby Stallion for nothing.

The Great Juice Diluting Conspiracy

I just learned that my Mom has been doing something very sneaky - she's been diluting my juice. I guess she figured that I would never know the difference. But I've recently tasted full-strength juice and let me tell you - I'm never going back to the toilet water she's been giving me. All this time I bought her lies! She would pour my favorite purple juice into my sippy cup. Then she would saunter over to the fridge, put the sippy cup nonchalantly under the water dispenser, and fill it the rest of the way with what I now know to be water. When I would protest, she would say to me, "Oh, no, sweetie, don't worry, Mommy is just making more juice for you. Extra special juice comes from here, and I mix it with the regular juice to make you special-wecial juice!" Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, and I'll karate-chop you. No more baby juice for me!

Let Me Introduce Myself

Let me introduce myself...I'm One-sock. One-sock Carter. Okay, that's not my real name, but that's what my family calls me. You see, I start the day out with two socks, like everyone else, but somehow I always end up running around the house with just one sock. Sometimes I pull it off because I have eczema and I like to scratch my ankle. Other times I hide it, like in the freezer, just to see what Mom will say.

I have it real good, because I'm two and a half and I'm the baby of the family. I have an older sister, an older brother, and a Mom and Dad who give me lots of attention. Mom says I'm a born entertainer, but I'm really just about having fun. Oh, and getting my way. That's pretty important to me, too. I am two and a half, after all.

This is my blog, and these are my adventures. Later on I want to tell you about the Juice Diluting Conspiracy I just stumbled upon, but I gotta go get my diaper changed. I'll be back later!